Thankamony.

My life is so full. I am blessed in way too many ways to count. Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve everything I have, but I know I was given what I was given for a reason and "because I have been given much, I too must give." 


"For of him unto whom ^amuch is ^bgiven much is ^crequired;"
Doctrine & Covenants 82:3


Today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and I want to express it on here since I'm not very good at expressing it out-loud.

1. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

(Greg Olsen)

"I have felt His light and I have felt His peace, stronger than anything. If I could shout to all the world, bring His truth to every man, I would wear away my life to say:"

"He is the Way. He is the Light. He is Life. No other road, no other name. His power to save. I testify with every breath I breath, with all my faith: He is the way!"
(Jenny Phillips)


 I am so thankful to be raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm thankful for the knowledge of who I am, where I came from and where I am going. I'm thankful that I am never alone. I will always have my Savior. I will always have my Heavenly Father. I know that my prayers are heard and answered. I know that everything in my life has a purpose and a plan.

2. I love Luke Maughan.

"I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you"

Luke is my everything. It was definitely a higher power that led us together. There is no one in this world I would rather spend Eternity with. 

3. I love my parents.

I lucked out in the parents department. I can't express the amount of gratitude I have for my mother. She is the strongest, smartest and most amazing woman I know. She bends over backwards for her children, her siblings, her best friends and her parents. I hope to be half the mom to my kids as my mom is to me. I love her so much. My dad is a genius, a comedian and a best friend. He's patient, kind and loving. He's a father to so many people. He is one of my biggest heroes.

4. I love my siblings.

The best thing in the world is to get a call from one of my siblings. I miss Brooklyn, Austin, Adam and Emmalee so much. There are lots of advantages to being the oldest child, but having to leave the home first was one of the hardest parts.

Brooklyn is my best friend. It took awhile for us to change from siblings to best friends, but when we finally did I scored the best best friend ever. Brooklyn will always bend over backwards for me. She is the most helpful, caring friend I have. Austin is a stud. He is smarter than I am and probably smarter than I ever will be. Austin reminds me so much of my dad. He's hilarious, spiritual, smart and so aware of people's feelings. Adam is my cuddle bug. He has become so smart and witty since I left. It's weird to think they are all growing up without me. Emmalee is everyone's little princess. She is spoiled rotten because she's so dang cute. She is going to be a heart breaker someday. (And yes, Lauren is a sibling too, but she's in a different category.

5. I love my grandparents.

My grandma and grandpa Falter are incredible. My grandma's ability to laugh at herself is inspiring. Ever since I can remember, "Crazy Grandma Marg" ALWAYS had a new story for us to laugh about. My grandpa is also a genius like my dad! They have such forgiving hearts. They support their kids and grandkids no matter what!! And anything my grandma cooks is amazing. I love getting letters, newspaper clippings and packages from them in the mail. 

 

My grandma and grandpa Belnap are also incredible. My grandma is the most selfless lady in the world. She is constantly taking meals, visiting, giving rides and helping in every way that she can. My grandpa is always working or teasing. They are so humble and full of faith.  I love getting a bag with cheese-balls and homemade jam. Grandma and Granpda will make everyone they meet a part of their family.

6. I love my aunts, uncles and cousins.

Bryden William Belnap is the happiest, most loving man in the world. 

I love having the Belnap gene in me. These are very loving, service oriented, and goofy people. They have a heart from their mother and the brains from their father ;). Having Marci & Scott, Barbi & Justin and Jeri Kay & Steve so close to me has been such a blessing. I always have a place to have a home cooked meal, do my laundry and be with the people I love the most. Lately, I've been having lots of much-needed bonding with Barbi. She's helped me get through some hard time of rejection. These Belnap siblings also produced some amazing kids. I love that I have so many cousins in the same town. I love cousin bonding activities like bowling, rockband, Glee and dinners. My cousins are some of my very best friends.

I also love the crazy-goofy-laugh-at-everything Falter gene. I love getting together with the Falters!!! The Falters always laugh. They always are smiling and having a good time. They laugh at themselves, at crazy grandma and my crazy uncles. I never see their angry or stressed out sides. All I see is happiness. They are all very positive and optimistic. I love getting letters in the mail from my aunt Tracy. She has always been so kind and thoughtful. I love all my cute little Falter cousins. I wish there wasn't such a gap between us. 

7. I love my future family.

These guys have already done SO much for me! It's so nice to have a new family to support me and lean on when my immediate family is so far away. Everyone is so supportive of each other. All the letter stuffing, rides, meals, video taking, couch shopping, tie shopping, bed shopping, tv shopping and envelope labeling. I love them all so much.

8. I love my school.

Utah State University is where it's at. Utah is such a different place than Washington. It's taken awhile to get used to this culture, but I love every part of it. Everyone is friendly here. I already have so many amazing friends. I love that so many people around me have the same values as me. 

9. I love my best friends.

We made it to, through, out and beyond the awkward stage together. 

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Throughout the last 6 years, we have gone through different trials and experiences, but through it all we stuck together. Other people came in and out of our lives, but us three  were and always will be a team. :) We understand each other. We laugh at each other. We listen to each other. I just hope they don't forget about me when I'm married because even if I'm not their best friend, they will always be mine.

Bryden William

Every day was spent like his last. His parents didn’t know he would be born with Down’s Syndrome or that nearly every system of his body would fail within his first month of life. At birth, he was immediately taken by the trauma team. Four hours later, he had already taken his first ambulance ride. He was rushed to another hospital with the equipment to keep his frail body alive. The doctors never told his parents that they did not expect him to live, only that he was very, very sick. 

His parents drove an hour and a half every single day to just look down through glass at their baby boy. Cuts and pokes in his skin were filled with tubes and wires, leaving scars all over his body. It wasn’t until he was nine days old that he felt the comfort of his mother’s arms around him for the first time. It was fifteen before he felt the security of his dad’s first embrace. By the end of his first two weeks of life he had already experienced kidney and liver failure and was diagnosed with a heart murmur. At three months old, he was recovering from open-heart surgery.

He saw his home for the first time at four months old. After he was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension and went through a tracheotomy at six months, he was completely soundless, having no ability to vocally cry or laugh out loud. When he cried, it was just tears, no noise. Five and a half out of his first seven months were spent in urgent care and the others were spent in his home connected to life support. He would spend the rest of his life, with his weak lungs and body, in and out of the hospital. This once so fragile baby boy now stands, three months away from his twenty-first birthday, as my hero, my coach, my cheerleader, my best friend and my Uncle Bryden William Belnap.

Bryden has now completed high school, no longer has a tracheotomy, and though he has issues with his speech, he can talk, laugh, cry, and sing off-key with gusto. Through every test, every tube, every diagnosis, and every trial, he keeps on going. He keeps on smiling. He keeps on breathing. He keeps on loving. There has been no other role model that has changed my life the way Bryden has. His attitude on life, living, loving, working and playing has helped sculpt me into the person I am today.

With his determination, he teaches me to never quit. Whenever he attends one of my sport events or when he comes to one of my music concerts, Bryden is my coach or conductor. He is the one who cheers me on when I want to give up, claps even when I make a mistake, and stands right next to the actual coach making sure I go in to the game when I’m supposed to. He is the one who drives my success.

One day, I came home from school and work and felt like I just couldn’t go on. I had tests to study for, pages of homework and projects to finish for the next day. Although Bryden couldn’t tell me how to do my work, or help me find the answers, he was there, patting my back with a big smile across his face. He gave me the courage to keep going. With his encouragement and support, I can accomplish anything. He has taught me perseverance and determination through whatever adversity may come my way.

With his passion, he teaches me to become the person I dream to be. Starting high school, I was scared that I would be different and I was scared to be myself, worried about what people would say or think about me. I wanted to run for a student office and join clubs, but I was too nervous. Then, I started to watch. I watched as Bryden slammed away at his drums and sang as loud as he could, even though no one could understand his words. I watched as he sat in the middle of his High School Band, trombone in hand, playing away to whatever notes he could hit. I watched as he put down his instrument and ran into the team huddle to wrap up a big basketball game. I watched how he did what he loved and didn’t let others stand in his way and I learned. I learned his determination. I learned to be involved.

As life went on, I started taking risks, joining clubs, going to activities, cheering at games, playing sports, and running for office. As Associated Student Body Treasurer, Seminary Class President, Laurel Class President, Link Leader, Distributive Educational Club of America member, Key Club member, National Honors Society member and Interact Club member, I can proudly say I am involved and I owe it all to him.

With his open and willing mind, he teaches me to try, to serve, and to love. No matter who they are, what they look like, where they are from or what they are doing, Bryden will treat everyone with love, kindness and respect. When I was in Elementary School, Bryden came to my house to visit and wanted to go on a bike ride. The only bike that he could fit on was my little sister’s pink bike with a pink basket, pink horn, and pink pompoms. We rode up and down our street and came across a group of boys on the corner. The boys started pointing, laughing, and mocking Bryden and his little pink bike. Bryden stopped his bike, greeted every little boy and joined in on their laughter. That day I promised myself, I would never laugh at someone who was different. Bryden taught me how to be accepting and open-minded. He taught me to love everyone, especially those who are different.

 

It wasn’t until I was about eight years old when I realized he wasn’t like me, he wasn’t like my sisters or brothers. He wasn’t like my parents, grandparents, cousins or uncles. He was better. Bryden was everything I’ve aspired to be from that day forward. I strive to have his determination, passion and willingness, but most of all; I want to make a difference. I want to teach. I want to change. I want to be everything he was to me.